The Best Birthday Gift Ever…

I have never really liked 'birthdays', considering i am generally all alone that day (which makes me feel all the more gloomy!) But i never even liked birthday parties (though i never mind the gifts :p) the entire fuss, faking a smile continuously, saying 'thank you' a dozen times in a single breath and then stupid rains spoiling everything!! (why is it that it ALWAYS rains on my birthday??) more or less birthdays were always a pain. The one thing which makes me look to forward to the D-day, is Archi's poem. Every year i receive a beautiful, lovely poem by my best friend which actually completes my day and makes it special for me!! :)

So this year I thought I'll share it with you guys...

So, neha, another year passed by

another birthday has come around

and here i was watching you grow

with amazement in my heart abound

yes, you have come a long long way

constantly changing with each moment

Like you were a diamond being polished

sparkling more with every cut's endurement

I saw you tread in dangerous paths

figuring out the right way to go

And as I watched from the shadows

It so pleased me to see you grow

I saw you make choices, so many

I saw you strong untill the end

wavering a bit in moments of doubt

and the wounds you on your own did tend

I watched you learn along the way

Learning to correct the mistakes

I saw you delve deeper in choppy waters

More confident, outgrowing the calm lakes

and there will be things and stuff

That we could never ever forget

Where do I begin, a difficult choice

But okay, let's begin with PEC

CHD is a beautiful place for sure

We'll go there someday backpacking

But counsellings I hate with all my soul

CHD or outside CHD? How discriminating!

I adore handsome sardars with all my soul

but college boys in black, how excruciating!

and well off, beautiful people in sc/st

again, CHD or outside CHD? how discriminating!

but the drive was worth it though

a beautiful stretch of images, our land

washed with rain, ripening grain

you wish there forever you could stand

then there are nights on the terrace

rainwashed and the moon up in bloom

and a seductress like you dancing along

you, food,and the night, ah no room for gloom

scooty's are a pleasure, though you are rash

and inception a very funny movie, no doubt

flirting with the coffee guy, and 800 ki chappalein

god, neha, report your mind for lost and found

I long for the day when I tell your kids

what an "amazing" person you'v been

an adept achaar thief, napkin hoarder

and other things between you and me

But more than that, I long for days

when we realize our hopes and dreams

actually executing our beautiful plans

and exploring our own hidden realms

drinking till we are insane

singing and then passing out

going biking, hiking, travelling

pushing on till nothing's left out

shopping like mad, buying a place

campaigning in dirt and rain

setting up my business, nurturing it

living through the blood and pain

I want to see you fall in love

to be behind you at your wedding

I want to be there for you

as you begin the journey of parenting

I hope I am there at every turn

At every phase and beginning

I will be there in each new chapter

silent...but watching

For at every stage i will see

you emerging from your silky cacoon

spreading your enormous wings

a butterfly relishing her boon

I dont know if i'v been good enough

but I really adore you for what you are

And always I just want to be there

with you, no matter where you are

And you know what, distance is an illusion

a physical obstacle, and nothing more

oppurtunities should be seized, so fly on

I will always be there, with a wide open door

And I promise you that I'll always try

that your dreams shall never ever die

I guess I'v said enough, well, time to go

loads of love, and happy birthday dodo

Archi, i don't know how to thank you for this but i hope you know that you are the best thing that could have ever happened to me and that you define the term 'soul sister' for me!!

Every time i read it, I have a big smile on my face throughout the poem (though i even laugh in between, thanks to '800 ki chapplein' ) But still i always end up crying! :')

I LOVE YOU

BIZZARE DREAMS

I am going to be 18 in a day ( :D) so I was just wondering how I spent all those years of mine…and I realized I had gathered some real beautiful memories which I loved to cherish, some decisions which I still regret about, some embarrassing moments which I laugh about, some daring stuff which I feel proud about…in short…so far so good!!

But somehow I was still left unsatisfied because I plan to completely freak out before I leave, there is still so much left to see, so much left to do…I am actually more than my needs!

So I made a list of all the things (in no particular order) I wanna do in the years which are left….

1 Go for scuba diving.

2 Pack a bag and randomly sit in a train without knowing where it is going.

3 Be completely drunk, so much so that I am left semi-conscious. (Though I’d prefer to carry a friend, just in case…)

4 Own a small house (though with huge gardens) in a country-side where I can spend my life after retirement.

5 Watch an opera in the Sydney opera house.

6 Passionately fall in love with somebody (so I can make him my crime partner!)

7 Get a tattoo made on my shoulder which reads…’Maqtub’ (urdu for destiny)…and I’d even like a tattoo anklet!!

8 Open a small school for girls, and teach them to live a life with self-respect and independence.

9 Work in a Broadway (even if I have just a small role)

10 Get my hair streaked with ‘purple’ colour.

11 Take my mom to a live concert or a play or a ballet (this is one of her dreams actually)

12 Go on a Eurail trip

Get my best friend's collection of poems published, adopt a bunch of kids, meet Shahrukh khan,just once…etc etc.etc…

I know my list of these ‘bizarre’ dreams is actually never-ending...I can carry on with it like forever :P. But as I said there is still so much to do, so much to experience…

Actually it does not really matter if I am able to fulfill each and every dream in my list because what is more important is that you dream and try to make your life worth living. Dreams are the future realities, strive to complete them. Enjoy and make the most of each and every moment you have. Believe in yourself. Let stories be told through you. Believe in what you can’t see but what you do know. Have faith ‘cause that’s the only way to capture all your fears.

And this birthday all I wish, is to keep my ‘hope’ alive and that my dreams survive! :)

Considering there are so many ‘weird’ dreams of mine which I intend to fulfill and will be posting about them too…this blog is gonna be way interesting…lol :P

So keep reading, keep dreaming and keep the ‘sunny side up’!!

Ciao till then…

The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die, shall never ever die!!!

Brighter than Sunshine

Since ‘friendship’ day is day after tomorrow, I thought i’ll write a ‘friendship special’ :) Though I don’t really believe in these stupid ‘days’ but nevertheless, I guess it’s a good time to acknowledge those whom you love the most…

So, to begin with, I did tell you earlier how my friends are ‘little tyrants’ of my life and they rule my life completely…I mean it, literally! :p

Being a ‘fauji’ kid, I never got to spend much time at a single place. Every time, as soon as I started adjusting to a new place, a new environment we were posted off (I have literally led a life of a ‘nomad’) and then the cycle began…a new school, first day, new people, different teachers. I hated all of it. Crying for days on hearing the news of another posting, desperately asking mom, “Why can’t we just stay at a single place??” and getting the same answer all the time, “It’s dad’s job, we can’t help it.” Though I loved being in airforce but I hated shifting.

But weirdly, no matter how difficult the transition had been or how much time I took to adjust to the ‘new’ place, I always ended up loving it (though it did make the next posting even more difficult).

I guess this was because of the fact that I was really very lucky, I always ended up finding the best of friends which helped me at everything…adjusting, studying, but most importantly ‘surviving’. I know if I hadn’t met them, surviving in that new place would not have been possible. And after changing ‘nine’ schools in past 17 years of my school life, I have managed to gather loads of AMAZING friends, which I know will be there for me till eternity!

We might not interact that much today or be like we used to be, I don’t deny the fact that the distances did take a toll on our friendship, but they did bring a change in my life and made me the person I am today.

So this friendship day, I have decided, that I am gonna locate all my lost friends and tell them how important they were and still are to me.

And make them realize that our ‘friendship’ is even ‘Brighter than sunshine’!! :)

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!

"Friendship is like a golden chain, the links are friends so dear. And like a rare and precious jewel, It’s treasured more each year..."

A Drop of HOPE...

It’s almost been a week that I haven’t seen the sun. Apart from the rare little rays of sunlight…it keeps on raining, not hard, just like a slow gray drizzle, like tears. Ahh well I am not giving you the weather report but this is what is happening in my life as well!!

I did tell you about my ‘struggle’ for getting into a college; it is the thing that has drained all my hope. Getting into a good college now totally depends upon some kind of miracle and which just isn’t gonna happen. Its not that I don’t believe in miracles but the fact that I have already seen one so chances of experiencing another are quite slim. (using ‘slim’ I am quite understating it!).

You know…sometimes it is just difficult to look at what people say,’ the larger picture’ or believing in the fact that ‘whatever happens, happens for the good’. And to all those who keep on telling me the same things…thank you so much for believing that I am gonna end up with not what i always wanted but what is best for me (that does definitely help me) but its just difficult to believe in it at the moment (though I might end up saying ‘u were right’) and I wanna clarify that I am NOT a ‘pessimist’ probably a ‘well informed optimist’ or ‘prac-ti-cal’ :p

So never mind…my point is being depressed or crying once in a while isn’t really that bad. Ok so now you must be thinking that I am completely contradicting the basic concept of this blog…so yes I am contradicting! (:p)

I know being depressed or crying doesn’t really help but nevertheless it does help you sober down (if only a bit) and you just might end up finding someone who would do everything only to get your smile back! :)

Just a ‘drop of hope’ is required…because considering the law of nature the sun will be back…shining and smiling as ever!!

Ciao till den!! Keep smiling :)

“No need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bears witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer. –Benjamin Franklin"

THE PRESENT

Before I talk about my weird life of past eighteen odd years…or my plans and aspirations of my future…I thought I should first talk about the PRESENT. Afterall ‘living in the moment’ is what I personally believe in.

So well its already been three months since I have left my school, (the place that has taught me a lot and yes, not only academically. It has made me the person that I am today and ‘fcourse given me friends who are actually little tyrants of my life, but I’ll go in details later on…) and now literally ‘struggling’ to get into some college (all thanks to my poor grades! *sigh*)…so well right now I am living in a kind of ‘transition period’ with nothing much to do but still loads of thoughts in my head (giving me sleepless nights all the time).

All thanks to this ‘transition period’…I am currently suffering from drastic mood swings I am happy in a second and cranky in just the next one :(

Like just yesterday after being sarcastic and unnerve the entire day I ended being extremely happy just for the fact that I found a very old song I had been looking for quite a few months now. And then I figured out I don’t really need reasons to be happy…just a small walk in the park in cool breeze or playing hopscotch with kiddos or just feeling the raindrops on my palm (though I hate to get wet) are enough to make my day!!!

And I guess its not that bad to be happy and de-happy ‘cause it creates a balance in your life…afterall life is a like a sinusoidal curve, with its crests and troughs and the average always comes out be zero!!

But i prefer to look at the brighter side of it...afterall its 'The Sunny Side Up' :)

‘Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder’

The Beginning...

Heya!

After a big bad realisation that I am totally wasting all my time and simply being upto no good (oh yeah dat was some ‘realisation’! )…I wrote dis…my first note on my new ‘blog’!!

Talking about the ‘realisation’ thingie…I have passed all my past days by facebooking, constant sms-ng, chatting, sleeping etc..etc (oh yes, I am such a ‘vella’)…which made me realise that my life was nothing more than a quick succession of absolute nothings…

So I have decided to change it a bit (and only a ‘bit’)…and planned to do something more meaningful or atleast something that gives me satisfaction of doing it and so I have started with this blog.

Apart from this, the reason I started it is because I really do believe in what Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did.” And regret and disappointment is something I don’t wish to live with!

Plus I wanna thank my best friend, Archika Poria, for giving me the idea of starting this...love you archi<3

So I am ending my first note here but there will be more…ciao till then!

Thanks for reading :)